Friday, November 20, 2009

Have I outgrown my earrings?

So, a strange thought has occurred to me a few times in recent weeks: could it be possible that at 31 I have outgrown my earrings? See, when I got them almost 10 years ago, it was a pretty big deal. I had vowed for years that I would never pierce my ears, but then one day I just changed my mind. Much to the surprise of many (and the chagrin of some) I decided I wanted a hoop in each ear, and by golly, I went and got them! As it turns out, they looked really good, and quite natural on me. I have kept the same style all this time. Now I am wondering if they are relevant any more.
OK, let's back up a little bit, and talk about why this even matters at all. Like some of you, I have always been very aware of my own uniqueness, and have mostly embraced it. Purple has been my favorite color for a long time, and in years past I have been known to wear it gratuitously as an expression of my personality. Due to my color choice, and often my fabric choices, my orientation has been questioned more times than I can recount. I assure you, I am only interested in women. Too interested. Anyway, once I graduated from prison, I was free to grow my hair long, which I promptly did. As soon as I was legal, I started getting ink. Then came the earrings. All of this contributes to my image, which is very important to me. Even now, having traded my headbanger tendencies for jazz/fusion, I still enjoy sporting this anti-pop look of long hair, piercings and tattoos. Did I mention that I prefer blouses to the typical boring and predictable shirts that ordinary men wear? I'd wear skirts if my wife would let me...
At work, I usually wear my hair back, and sometimes cover my tatts with long-sleeves. I also try to dress up a bit to compensate for all the self-expression that is still visible. This is all of my own volition, in an attempt to "dress the part" of a legitimate manager. I've rarely, if ever, been on the receiving end of any unveiled stereotyping, but nevertheless, I've sometimes wondered if a well-dressed, clean-shaven, long-haired manager would be more respected if his tattoos and piercings were completely hidden. Maybe this has affected my thinking more than I recognize, and I wonder if it really should...
This brings me back to the question at hand: are my earrings still a necessary part of this image that represents who I am? My wife says I am over-analyzing it, but its a pretty serious matter to me. First impressions are based on appearances, and I want everyone to know that I am NOT normal!
Ultimately, I think I have concluded that my earrings are no longer crucial to this "image" I wish to exhibit. Furthermore, I have decided that I don't think I really care one way or the other as to whether or not I keep them in.
So, given that conclusion, one might think that it would be logical for me to go ahead and take them out. But would it? Some would consider that to be "reverting back to normal", but I'm not so sure I agree. Who's to say that over the last 10 years "Jason having earrings" has not become the new "normal"?

If I am truly indifferent to whether or not I keep my earrings, wouldn't taking them out be a statement to the contrary? Shouldn't removing my earrings be as conscious and intentional a decision as getting them in the first place?